A Short Biography Of Hubert Humphrey
   Sparrow
   
   Hubert Humphrey--"The Happy Warrior"--would
   have been our 37th President
   had not Nixon, with his ghostly charisma,
   intervened. Hubert--whose middle name
   was improbably "Horatio"--
   was reared in Minnesota, and served as
   a corporal in WWII
   on the Bavarian Front, then returned home,
   went to college,
   became a Minneapolis alderman, and slowly
   rose through
   the ranks of Democratic politics, until he
   was Senator,
   then VP (under Johnson), then almost P. After
   Hubert's defeat
   he retired to his beloved Skatt Lake,
   and wrote cheerful
   liberal volumes, which almost resembled self-help
   books:
   The Cause We Care For, Where Is The New Path?,
   etc.
   He appeared at fund-raisers, on Laugh-In,
   and had a small
   role in a Jane Fonda movie, "The
   Smell Of Roses",
   but proved a terrible actor. He was determined to
   open a carwash
   until his wife, Murial, forbade it; she called it
   "undignified."
   Gradually HHH came to oppose the Vietnam War,
   which he
   had wrecked his political career defending. "This war
   is an American Tragedy," he said.
   Hubert attempted to play the ukulele, with little
   success,
   although his rendition of "Help Me, Rhonda"
   was
   praised by his nephews. One day Hubert H. Humphrey's
   soul
   seeped out of his orotund body, and reunited with
   the Cosmic Mind.